The $10,000 Mistake You’re About to Make
I recently sat in a boardroom in Eagle Farm with a tech founder who was incredibly proud of his new venture’s name: CloudSolutions Brisbane.
I didn’t have the heart to tell him immediately, so I’ll tell you instead: that name is a death sentence. It’s a beige wall in a beige room. It’s the digital equivalent of a limp handshake.
In the marketing world, we see this constantly. Business owners get terrified of being misunderstood, so they pivot toward "descriptive" names that explain exactly what they do. They think they’re being clear. In reality, they’re becoming invisible. By the time they’ve paid for the trademark, the signage, and the embroidered polos, they’ve already lost the battle for mental availability.
If you want to win in 2026, you have to stop naming your business for a search engine and start naming it for a human brain. We’re moving into an era where "safe" is the riskiest move you can make.
The Fallacy of the Descriptive Name
Look, I get the temptation. You want people to know you sell plumbing services in Toowong, so you call yourself Toowong Plumbing Services. It’s logical. It’s also a commodity trap. When your name is a description, you aren’t a brand; you’re a utility. And utilities are chosen based on price, not loyalty.
If you want to stop being a commodity, your name needs to evoke a feeling, a story, or a distinct personality.
Think about the brands that actually stick in your head. Apple doesn’t sell fruit. Amazon isn’t a travel agency for South America. Mambo doesn’t describe surfwear. These names create a "hook" in the brain because they require a tiny bit of cognitive processing. That friction—that split second where the brain says, "Wait, why are they called that?"—is where memory is formed.
Why SEO-Driven Naming is a Scam
Most agencies will tell you to bake your keywords into your name for "SEO benefits." This is outdated, mid-2010s thinking. Google’s algorithms are smarter than that now. They prioritise brand signals and user intent. If your name is Best Brisbane Accountants, you’ll spend the next decade fighting every other "Best Accountant" for the same scrap of digital turf. But if you’re Hedge & Hammer, you’re building brand equity that people actually search for by name.The Three Tiers of High-Stakes Naming
When we run naming workshops at Local Marketing Group, we generally categorise names into three buckets. Most SMEs live in Tier 1. The market leaders live in Tier 3.
1. The Descriptive (The Danger Zone)
Names like Quality Car Care or Brisbane Digital Marketing. The Pro: Zero explanation needed. The Con: Zero personality, impossible to trademark, and you’ll blend into the Yellow Pages like a ghost.2. The Suggestive (The Sweet Spot for Growth)
Names that hint at the benefit or the vibe without saying it literally. Think Afterpay (the benefit is clear) or Boost Juice (the energy is implied). The Pro: Easy to market, builds a bridge to the consumer. The Con: Can still feel a bit "corporate" if not executed with some edge.3. The Abstract or Evocative (The Power Play)
Names like Kogan, Atlassian, or Bluey. These mean nothing until you imbue them with meaning. The Pro: Total ownership. You own the word in the consumer's mind. The Con: Requires a bigger marketing engine to build the initial association.The "Pub Test" vs. The "International Scalability Test"
In Queensland, we love the "Pub Test." If you can’t tell a mate the name of your business over a loud beer at the Regatta without repeating yourself three times, the name is a failure.
But here’s where most experienced marketers trip up: they pass the pub test but fail the scalability test. I worked with a boutique gym owner in West End who wanted to call his brand G’day Gains. It passed the pub test—it’s catchy, local, and friendly. But the moment he wanted to expand into Singapore or even just move beyond the "Aussie larrikin" trope, the name became an anchor. It was too provincial.
Your name needs to be a vessel large enough to hold your future ambitions. If your core values are boring, a quirky name won't save you, but a name that limits your service offering will certainly kill you. Don't name yourself The Brisbane Decking Co if you might want to do landscaping, roofing, or outdoor kitchens in five years.
The Psychology of Phonetics: Why Some Names "Feel" Expensive
This is the stuff the "name generator" websites won't tell you. The actual sounds in your name—the phonemes—dictate how people perceive your price point and quality before they even see your logo.
Back vowels (O, U): These sounds feel larger, slower, and more powerful. Think Rolex, Google, Lululemon. Front vowels (I, E): These feel small, fast, and sharp. Think Nit, Zip, Fitbit. Plosives (P, T, K, B, D, G): These are "hard" sounds that cut through noise. They feel energetic and reliable. Kodak, TikTok, Bunnings.
If you’re launching a high-end consultancy in the CBD, you want a name with weight and resonance. If you’re launching a fast-delivery app in Fortitude Valley, you want something snappy with front vowels and plosives.
The Trademark Minefield (And How to Navigate It)
I’ve seen more grown men cry over IP Australia letters than I care to admit. You find the "perfect" name, you buy the .com.au, you print the business cards, and then—bam—a cease and desist from a company in Melbourne that owns the trademark for a "similar" class of goods.
Here is my contrarian advice: If the .com is available but the name is boring, walk away. If the name is brilliant but the .com is taken, find a creative way to own the URL (e.g., get[brand].com or [brand]hq.au). The domain is a technicality; the brand name is an asset.
However, never compromise on the trademark. In 2026, the legal landscape is tighter than ever. Use a trademark attorney early. It’ll cost you $2k now, but it’ll save you $50k and a complete rebrand in three years.
Case Study: The Rebrand That Saved a Logan Construction Firm
Last year, we worked with a firm originally called Logan Precision Builds. They were struggling to win high-end architectural projects in New Farm and Ascot. Why? Because their name screamed "suburban contractor."
We didn't just change the logo; we changed the soul of the brand. We moved them to Vellum & Vice.
Vellum suggests history, blueprints, and tactile quality. Vice suggests precision, grip, and a bit of an edge. It’s a name that demands a higher hourly rate. It’s a name that matches the bold visual identity they needed to stand out. Within six months, their average project lead value tripled. The work didn't change—the perception did.
Why "Group" and "Solutions" Need to Die
If I see one more business named [Founder Name] Consulting Group or [Industry] Solutions, I might actually retire. These words are filler. They are the "um" and "ah" of the branding world. They add zero value, waste character space on your signage, and make you look like a mid-tier firm from 1994.
Be brave enough to stand on a single, strong word or a unique compound phrase.
The Checklist: Is Your Name Actually Good?
Before you commit to that new name, run it through this gauntlet. Be honest—most names fail at least three of these.
1. The Crowd Test: Can you find it on Instagram, LinkedIn, and TikTok without adding three underscores and a number at the end? 2. The Spelling Test: If you say it once, can a stranger spell it? (Avoid the mid-2000s trend of removing vowels like Flickr or Lyft—it’s dated and annoying). 3. The Negative Connotation Test: Does it mean something offensive in another language? (Or even just sound like something gross in Aussie slang?) 4. The Visual Potential: Does the word look good written down? Some words have "awkward" letters (like 'g', 'j', 'p', 'q', 'y' which have descenders) that can make logo design a nightmare. 5. The Story Test: When a client asks, "Where did the name come from?", do you have an answer that isn't "it was the only domain available"?
Final Thoughts: The Name is Just the Beginning
Naming is the most emotional part of building a brand. It feels permanent. It feels like naming a child. But remember: a name is a vessel. On day one, it’s empty. Every interaction, every piece of content, and every customer service win pours meaning into that vessel.
Don't pick a name that is already "full" (like Cheap Fast Printing). Pick a name that gives you room to grow, defines your vibe, and—most importantly—doesn't bore your audience to tears.
If you're staring at a blank piece of paper trying to figure out who your brand actually is before you name it, you're doing it in the right order. Don't rush the foundation.
Ready to build a brand that actually commands attention in the Brisbane market? Let’s stop playing it safe. Get in touch with us and let’s find a name that works as hard as you do.
Key Takeaways for Your Next Naming Session: Kill the descriptors: If it explains what you do, it’s probably a commodity name. Prioritise phonetics: Use hard consonants for reliability and specific vowels for luxury or speed. Think 5 years ahead: Don’t geo-fence your brand with a suburb name if you plan to scale. Own the trademark, not just the URL: Legal protection is non-negotiable. Embrace the friction: A name that requires a second look is a name that gets remembered.