The Love-Hate Relationship That’s Costing You a Fortune
Look, I’ve sat in enough cafes in West End and pubs in Fortitude Valley to know exactly what’s happening.
You’re exhausted. Your kitchen is pumping. The little tablet on the counter is pings every two minutes with that bloody chime.
But when you look at your bank account at the end of the month? There’s nothing left.
You’re working for the apps. You’ve become a ghost kitchen for a tech giant in Silicon Valley, and they’re taking 30% of your top line before you’ve even paid for the napkins.
I’m going to be straight with you: For most small restaurants, UberEats and DoorDash are a trap. But they don’t have to be.
If you’re going to play this game, you need to know the rules, because the apps aren't going to tell you. They want you busy. I want you profitable.
The Math They Don’t Want You to Do
Let’s break down a typical $30 order on an app.
First, the app takes their 30% cut. That’s $9 gone instantly.
You’re left with $21.
Now, subtract your food cost (COGS). If you’re running a tight ship at 30%, that’s another $9.
You’re down to $12.
Now pay the chef who cooked it, the person who packed it, the electricity, the rent, and the specialized packaging that costs three times more than a standard paper bag.
By the time that rider zips off on his scooter, you’ve probably made about fifty cents. Or worse, you’ve paid for the privilege of feeding that customer.
It’s madness.
Why Being 'Busy' Is a Dangerous Metric
I see owners all the time who are proud of how many bags are sitting on the heater.
"We did 100 orders on Uber last night!" they say.
Great. Did you make money?
If those 100 orders clogged up your kitchen so much that your loyal locals—the ones who actually walk through the door and buy drinks—had to wait 45 minutes for their pasta, you’ve lost.
You’ve traded a high-margin, long-term customer for a low-margin, one-off app user who will jump to the next place the moment they see a 'Free Delivery' promo.
Step 1: The 'Hard Truth' Audit
Before you do anything else, you need to sit down with a beer and a calculator.
1. Separate your books. Don’t just look at total revenue. Look at 'In-House' vs 'App' revenue. 2. Calculate your true margin on apps. Include the packaging. Most people forget the $1.50 for the fancy leak-proof container. 3. Check your kitchen capacity. Is the app volume slowing down your in-house service?
If you find out you’re losing money on every bag that goes out the door, stop. Just stop. You’re better off being half as busy and twice as profitable.
How to Actually Win (If You Stay on the Apps)
If you decide the volume is worth it, or you’re in a quiet spot and need the reach, you have to change how you operate.
1. The 'App-Only' Menu
Don’t put your whole menu on there.Only list items that: - Have a high profit margin. - Travel well (nobody wants soggy chips). - Can be cooked fast without stressing the line.
If your signature steak loses its quality after 15 minutes in a plastic box, take it off. You’re just inviting bad feedback that will hurt your reputation.
2. Dual Pricing is Non-Negotiable
If the app takes 30%, your prices on the app must be at least 20-25% higher than in-store.Customers get it. They’re paying for convenience. If they want the 'real' price, they can come see you.
3. The 'Trojan Horse' Strategy
Every bag that leaves your shop should have a reason for that customer to come back directly.A physical flyer. A 'Next Order 10% Off if you call us directly' voucher. A QR code to join your VIP list.
Use the apps to find the customer once, then steal them back.
When to Walk Away
I’ve helped clients walk away from delivery apps entirely.
It’s scary. You think the phone will stop ringing.
But what actually happens?
The kitchen gets quieter. The staff get less stressed. The food quality for the people sitting in your dining room goes up.
And suddenly, you have the time and energy to focus on things that actually move the needle, like filling your function room or running a proper local promotion.
The Marketing Alternative
Instead of giving $2,000 a month to Uber, what if you spent $1,000 on targeted local ads?
Ads that show your food to people living within 5km of your front door. Ads that encourage them to book a table or use your own basic online ordering system where you keep 100% of the cash.
You don't need to be a tech genius. You just need to realize that you own the relationship with the diner, not the app.
My Honest Take
Most Brisbane restaurants are using delivery apps as a crutch because they’re too scared to do their own marketing.
It’s the path of least resistance, but it’s leading to a dead end.
If you’re a high-end spot, get off them yesterday. You’re devaluing your brand.
If you’re a burger joint or a Thai place, use them—but use them like a shark. Take what you need (new customers) and give them as little as possible.
What Should You Do First?
Tomorrow morning, look at your last weekly statement from Uber or DoorDash.
Look at the 'Fees' column.
Imagine that money was back in your pocket. What could you do with it? New equipment? A pay rise for your best chef? A holiday?
That money is yours. You earned it. Stop giving it away for 'exposure'.
If you want to figure out a way to get diners through the door without paying the 'app tax', we should talk.
At Local Marketing Group, we help local businesses actually make money, not just stay busy.